"You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics."
- Unknown English Teacher (via memewhore)

(Source: swarthyvillain, via pocketwatchproject)

me while playing a game: SHIT! FUCKIN SHIT AHHHGHH GOD DAMN IT THIS IS SO STUPID THIS SUCKS ARGHHH LLFUCKING HELL FUCK THIS GAME I HATE IT FFF FUCKIN SHIT GAME

me when i finish the game: omg that was so good i loved it so much. this is my new favourite game ever.

rj4gui4r:

deadlyflashesofgreen:

rib-caged:

I hate when guys are like “oh you’re not one of those girls that’s going to order a salad for dinner are you?” MAYBE I AM. MAYBE I FUCKING LIKE SALADS. HAVE YOU EVEN TASTED RASPBERRY VINAIGRETTE. 

Half of the steak and potato dishes we have at the restauraunt have less calories than our salads…

Plot twist

(Source: rib-caged)

me: watching tv show

me: looks down at phone for 0.002 seconds

me: misses entire plot line of episode, introduction of 2 new characters, 1 main character dies, they are in a different country, at some point someone reproduced and offspring are spoiled and someone got a pet cat